


I believe it is always worth it

by minigue



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-20 21:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10671429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minigue/pseuds/minigue
Summary: Set one week after S06 finale, the coldest winter on record hits Poplar. Delia and Patsy are reunited at last, but can they find a way to move forward?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to the Pupcake community for welcoming me so warmly, especially @Think_Busby_Think  
> This is my first ever fic, so I would really appreciate any feedback!

The cobbled streets were crisp and icy, the pools of street lamps illuminating puffs of rising air as the people of Poplar hurried below, rushing to get home and out of the bitter cold. The temperature in London had plummeted in the last few days, frequent flurries of snow settling on the paths and pavements as quickly as they could be shovelled clear. For the midwives of Nonnatus their days had become even longer, with the streets so treacherous they had to allow extra time for their journeys, their bicycle chains often frozen stiff in the mornings.

Nurse Mount cycled under the railway bridge, pushing through the darkness, pedalling as swiftly over the cobbles as she could given the dangerous roads conditions. As she approached Nonnatus House, her cheeks were bitterly red from the cold, her bare hands numb on the handlebars. Only one thought was on her mind. Delia.

\---  
On the night of her return from Hong Kong, Patsy had glimpsed the pain that Delia had been through in her absence. Their reunion had been brief, intense, overwhelming, and over all too quickly as they made their way back to the wedding crowd. That night, emotionally and physically exhausted, she had collapsed onto the spare bed in Delia’s room on Nurse Crane’s advice.  
“Deels…” she mumbled, face down on the duvet.  
Delia sat down on the bed next to her. “Cariad?”  
Despite Patsy’s utter exhaustion, she pushed herself to sit up with shaky arms and tired eyes.“I’m sorry. I'm so sorry, I…” Patsy whispered, the words catching in her throat. She brought a trembling hand to her mouth and closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks.  
Delia caught Patsy’s hands in her own and squeezed them tightly, pulling her love towards her gently. “Shhh, my darling” she breathed, brushing Patsy’s fringe to the side and gently wiping away her tears. Delia sighed, a mix of sadness and relief washing over her.  
Patsy looked up at Delia through damp eyelashes, her shoulders shaking and her face pale with tiredness. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself lost, staring into Delia’s dark blue eyes, struggling to find the words.  
“I know, sweetheart” said Delia, wrapping an arm around Patsy’s shoulders. “It's ok. You need to get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning” she said, rubbing Patsy’s back slowly. Delia stifled a gasp as she felt the outline of her girlfriend’s ribs through her thin blouse, and began to realise how much of a toll the past months had taken on them both.  
Gently, Delia lowered Patsy down onto the bed, stroking her hair and whispering reassurances.

\---  
As Patsy dismounted and wheeled her bicycle to the bike shed, the memories of that night flashed through her mind. Though they were blurred with the pain Patsy could think only of how soft Delia’s hands had felt on her cheek, how gently she had wiped away her tears, how warm and safe she had felt with her lover's arms around her that night.

Patsy quickened her pace as she climbed up the steps to Nonnatus, swinging open the heavy door and pushing it shut against the cold wind. Quickly shaking the worst of the ice from her coat and hanging it on the rack, she headed straight up the stairs to the bedroom she and Delia now shared, desperate to see her Welsh love. They had barely spent any time alone together since her return, thanks to an overflowing roster of mothers and the clinic busier than ever with winter colds and flu. Patsy rushed down the corridor, pushing their bedroom door open without knocking and turning on the light. She was smiling in anticipation, but her face soon fell when she found the room empty.

Where could Delia be? Both their beds were still made from this morning, there was no sign of a note (Delia sometimes left one under her pillow) and Delia’s book lay folded open in the same position she had left it in when they had both hurried down for breakfast that morning. Perhaps she had taken a last minute shift with St John Ambulance? Patsy sighed and sat down on her bed, dejected, allowing the normally brisk Nurse Mount just a moment of self pity. She had so been looking forward to this evening, a stolen hour together before bedtime. Even if they were both too tired to talk it would have been nice to rest her head on Delia’s lap and feel safe again.

Suddenly, a bright voice appeared outside their bedroom.  
“Patsy? Are you decent?” quipped Trixie, in an exaggerated whisper through the keyhole.  
Patsy smirked, snapping out of her melancholy and straightening her shoulders.  
“Come in Trix” she smiled, feeling grateful for the company as Trixie slid into the room and shut the door, skipping over to join Patsy on the bed.  
“Thank goodness I found you! It's the most terrible emergency” said Trixie, her eyes gleaming with mischief.  
Somehow Patsy didn't quite believe her. “Oh yes?” she smiled, “has Christopher gone and sold his sports car? Do you need to take the bus for your upcoming romantic weekend?”  
Trixie giggled, gently pushing Patsy’s shoulder. “Oh nothing like that silly. I'm absolutely _gasping_ for a cigarette and I've only gone and run out!”  
Patsy rolled her eyes dramatically, reaching over to her side table and opening the top drawer.  
“Gosh, well it's a good thing we share this naughty little habit then isn't it?” Patsy remarked with a smile, holding out the cigarette packet for Trixie.  
“You're an absolute life saver Nurse Mount, don't let anyone tell you otherwise” grinned Trixie, pulling out a cigarette and bringing a lighter from her pocket. Just as she went to flick it open, Patsy lunged for her hand and snapped it closed.  
“Sorry Trix, I promised Delia I wouldn't smoke in our room now that we’re sharing” she explained apologetically.  
Trixie huffed rather dramatically, standing up and pouting at Patsy with a childish look on her face. “Fine. Why don't we just pop open the window a little? Your bed is closest anyway”  
Before Patsy could say anything in response, Trixie strode over to the window and was leaning down to open the catch.  
“Trixie I really did…” began Patsy but was promptly interrupted.  
“Oh goodness!” Trixie exclaimed, “there's smoke coming from our back garden!”

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to @Think_Busby_Think for beta-ing this chapter, I'm incredibly grateful and your comments have helped enormously.

Patsy jumped up from the bed and rushed to the window, where Trixie was already leaning out and craning her neck into the darkness. The icy cold wind suddenly turned and blew a swathe of smoke in the faces, causing both women to cough and wave their arms in front of their faces.  
Patsy’s mind immediately jumped to Delia. If something was wrong, she knew Delia would have been first to run to the scene.

“Come on Trix,” Patsy urged, already striding to the bedroom door and motioning for her friend to follow. The two nurses hurried to the old wooden staircase, their black work shoes clipping down each step. Trixie grabbed both their coats from the stand and they pulled them on quickly, running along the corridor towards the kitchen. Patsy swallowed down her feelings of panic where they swirled in the pit of her stomach. But as they swung open the backdoor, familiar and reassuring sounds drifted to their ears and the garden scene began to appear.

Between the plant pots and rows of vegetables, a plume of light grey smoke rose from a metal dustbin, flames dancing in the darkness. As Patsy and Trixie stepped outside, Fred appeared with a bundle of twigs and broken bits of wood in his arms.  
“Evening ladies! Have you come to join our little gathering?” he grinned, heaping the wood onto the fire. “I've been clearing out the garden and thought what better way to get rid of this stuff than with a good old fashioned bonfire.”  
Trixie grasped Patsy’s arm in relief. “Oh Fred, we thought you'd gone and set the shed on fire!” she scolded. “The smoke blew right in through the bedroom window!”  
Patsy could only glance at the ground, blinking hard, and pushing her trembling hands into her coat pockets as she tried to calm down.

“And what were you doing with your window open, girls?” came a voice through the darkness. Delia grinned as she stepped out from behind Fred, a handful of twigs in her hand.  
Patsy’s head lifted up immediately, “Deels!” she breathed, a rush of emotion swelling in her chest. Just for a moment their eyes met and time seemed to slow, the warmth flushing Patsy’s cheeks having nothing to do with the fire.  
Trixie giggled and shot Patsy a look, pulling her to sit down on the garden bench as Delia dropped her twigs onto the flames. “Oh you know...we just wanted a little fresh air,” replied Trixie, entirely unconvincingly.  
“Well, I'm glad you could join us,” smirked Delia, walking over to the chair that was pulled up in front of the bonfire. Patsy, still struggling to compose herself, felt Delia give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze on the way past and looked up as her love gave her a warm smile.  
“Yes, that's exactly what one needs after a long day at work, a little fresh air,” asserted Patsy, whose timing was rather unfortunate as Trixie was just pulling the pack of cigarettes from her pocket. Trixie stopped in her tracks and feigned a look of guilt at being caught red handed, before the trio caught each other’s eyes and burst into laughter.

“I don't fancy risking my hair-do in the flames Patsy, would you be so kind as to oblige?” giggled Trixie, holding out her unlit cigarette. Patsy nodded and flicked open the lighter as Trixie leaned in. The flame quivered, jumping away from the end of the cigarette. Trixie frowned and shot a glance up at Patsy; realising it was the hand, not the flame, that was shaking. Patsy flushed red with embarrassment, and looked down at her lap, unable to meet her friend’s look of concern.  
Trixie calmly took Patsy’s hand in her own, steadying the flame and taking a drag. Without missing a beat she exhaled the smoke and remarked “Gosh Patsy, your hands are frozen, let me warm you up.” With her free hand she squeezed Patsy’s tightly, and gave a gentle rub of reassurance with her thumb. Trixie offered her support quietly and unconditionally, having noticed how withdrawn her best friend had been since her return to Poplar.

Delia looked over at her girlfriend, immediately sensing her pain. Her heart ached to be able to hold that hand. How many day and nights had she spent alone whilst Patsy was in the Far East, blinking back tears when the other nurses enquired kindly after her? The silk green scarf she pressed to her face at night, its scent slowly fading with the weeks and months that passed. Delia traced her finger along the hem of her coat, remembering how she had wished for the touch of Patsy’s skin. Now that her love had returned she was desperate for them to be together properly, to stop drifting through their relationship. Just as Delia was gathering her thoughts, she felt a drop of cold moisture land on her nose, quickly followed by a few more.

“Blimey!” exclaimed Fred. “The snow’s coming in, you'd better get inside girls,” he urged, picking up the dustbin lid and stepping towards the flames. Sure enough, a flurry of snow descended on the gathering, the cold wind blowing it sideways. Trixie leapt up from the bench with an “Oh!”, and promptly flicked her cigarette into the embers as Fred chivvied them away from the bonfire. Trixie was the first to rush off back along the path. As Delia and Patsy followed, Patsy reached back and grasped her girlfriend's hand in the darkness, holding on tightly until they got through the back door.  
“Heavens, look at it now,” marvelled Trixie as they stomped their feet on the mat and shook off their coats. All three women peered back through the kitchen window, gazing in wonder as a thick flurry of snow blew into the glass. It seemed winter had arrived in a hurry, wasting no time in laying down a heavy layer along the windowsill.

Glancing at the kitchen clock, Trixie gave a start and announced “Gosh, I must get to bed sweeties. Let's head up shall we?”  
Walking along the corridors of Nonnatus and back up the stairs, Trixie continued “I'm sure it'll be another busy day of clinic tomorrow.”  
Patsy turned to her, surprised. “I thought you had tomorrow off, Trix?” she asked, stopping as they reached the bedroom doors.  
“Actually, Christopher asked me out to a dance this Saturday night when I was meant to be manning the telephone. Luckily for me, this darling girl has agreed to swap shifts with me” Trixie beamed, turning to give Delia's arm a thankful squeeze.  
Patsy couldn't suppress a smile as she looked over her shoulder at Delia. “She is an absolute marvel,” concurred Patsy, bouncing happily on her heels.  
Trixie laughed and opened her door “Did you hear that Delia? We simply couldn't be without you,” she concurred. “Goodnight ladies, sleep well!”  
“Night Trix,” replied Delia and Patsy in unison, as Trixie’s door closed and they opened their own.

Slipping inside, they fell into tight hug as soon as the latch clicked. Patsy breathed in Delia’s hair, clutching her girlfriend tightly, the tension easing out of her body with relief.  
“So Deels,” began Patsy, lifting her hand to stroke Delia’s cheek. “Looks like we've both got the day off tomorrow?”

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments and kudos! I hope you enjoy this update, there's plenty more to come for Pats & Deels.
> 
> As ever, many thanks to my wonderful beta reader @Think_Busby_Think for her continued support and constructive challenge.

Delia breathed a sigh and smiled, closing her eyes and leaning her cheek into Patsy’s hand. Her heart fluttered at the touch of their skin, so longed for over the past months. She opened her eyes and was met with a deep, searching look from Patsy.  
“Yes my darling,” replied Delia, “we have a whole day, just us.” Delia placed a gentle hand on her girlfriend’s chest, but caught a glimmer of sadness in Patsy’s eyes.  
Patsy nodded and gave a smile. She hoped it would reassure her love that she was indeed happy at the prospect of spending time together for the first time since her return from the Far East. She placed one hand on Delia’s shoulder and the other on her waist, and pressed their foreheads together softly.

The two women stood like that for a moment, the rise and fall of their chests synchronising. They savoured the comfort of each other's arms. After a minute Patsy shifted hesitantly, and bit her lip as she glanced away to the floor.  
“Pats?” whispered Delia, looking up at her worriedly.  
Patsy shook her head and sighed. She felt her girlfriend’s shoulders tense under her hand.  
“Deels, you do know I love you, don't you?”  
Delia let out a shaky breath, which until now she hadn't realised she'd been holding. “Of course, sweetheart,” she replied, searching Patsy’s worried face for clues. Delia had felt the tension in her girlfriend growing over the past week. She was really hoping their day off together tomorrow would provide the space to talk honestly.  
“What's brought this on?” asked Delia kindly.  
Simply the sound of Delia’s lilting voice helped Patsy to calm. She took Delia’s hips in her strong hands, and guided her to sit down on their bed. They’d chosen the one closest to the window so as to be further from the door and listening ears.  
“When I was away,” began Patsy, sitting down next to her, “my father, he was so very unwell that often he didn't notice when I came in or out of his bedroom.”  
Delia nodded quietly, taking Patsy’s hand and pulling it into her lap. Their eyes met and Delia let the silence hang, indicating for her love to carry on...

\---  
_The Mount Residence, Hong Kong, October 1962_

Charles Mount lay peacefully in the grand four poster bed, white sheet neatly straight around him. Plump feather cushions propped up his chest and shoulders. As the heavy wooden door creaked his eyes fluttered open sleepily, and he turned his head from its resting position.  
Patsy winced at the sound of the floorboards as she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. As she turned around she was surprised to see her father awake.  
“Father,” she smiled, her face brightening into the well practiced Nurse Mount manner. “How's my patient?” she asked, striding over and standing smartly next to his bed, her shoulders set and feet together neatly.  
He looked up at his daughter, with a clarity in his eyes that she had rarely seen over the past few weeks. Charles smiled and slipped a hand out from under the sheets.  
“Managing quite well,” he replied.  
Patsy smiled professionally, and placed the back of her hand on his forehead. “Yes, we seem to have got that ghastly temperature down somewhat.”  
Charles caught her wrist as she lifted her hand away. Patsy flicked a concerned glance, not accustomed to the contact. Her father seemed to be about to say something, his mouth slightly open.

“Patience,” he began, looking up at her.  
Patsy fixed a calm enquiring look upon her face, eyebrows raised and her free arm folded across her body.  
“I need you to bring me my papers. There is much to resolve,” implored Charles.  
Patsy wondered what this could be about. She had been informed by their family solicitor that everything was in hand with regards to her father’s will.  
“Of course father. I shall ask Anthony to prepare them. Is there something in particular?” replied Patsy.  
Charles frowned, and dropped her hand. His eyes started to glaze over, the lucidity of a few moments ago fading. “He will understand,” replied Mr Mount curtly. Patsy nodded, and turned to move away.  
“And may I remind you it is polite to knock before entering one’s private room,” came a sharp rebuke.  
Patsy stiffened, but maintained her cool. “Yes father,” she replied, before slipping out of the door and closing it carefully behind her.  
\---

“Oh Pats,” said Delia quietly, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She could understand why the memory was painful, but sensed there was more to the story.  
Patsy was not quite sure how to go on. There was so much she wanted to explain to Delia but it still felt fresh and raw.  
“My father and I have never had a close relationship, and it was my decision to maintain distance in recent years” she explained. Patsy looked into Delia’s bright blue eyes and was met with nothing but kindness.  
Delia nodded and took Patsy’s hands in her own. “It’s alright, cariad,” she reassured. “We don’t have to talk about everything now. We have time.”  
Patsy exhaled heavily, feelings of guilt settling back down. “Thank you, Deels. Now, what about this day off we have tomorrow then?”  
Delia grinned, leaning her hands back on the bed. “Well, I have a few ideas,” she replied, dimples creasing her cheeks. “I thought we might start with breakfast in our cafe, and then depending on the weather, maybe go for a walk along the river?”  
“That sounds perfect Deels,” smiled Patsy, though simply being close to her girlfriend was all she wanted. “How about you take care of the daytime, and I’ll think of a little evening activity to keep us occupied?” she suggested, raising one eyebrow cheekily.  
Delia laughed and stood up, turning to face the redhead. She reached out to take hold of Patsy’s uniform collar, and slowly began moving her fingers down towards the first button.  
“Just you and me,” breathed Delia deeply, stepping closer to lean into Patsy’s knees. Patsy could wait no longer; she wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist and pulled her girlfriend on top of her with a giggle. They fell, laughing into each other’s arms.

**To be continued...**


End file.
